Seth's Story
Seth and Cousin Caleb
All through the night I'll be standing over you.
All through the night I'll be watching over you.
And through the bad dreams I'll be right there, baby.
Holding your hand, telling you everything is all right.
And when you cry I'll be right there
Telling you, you were never anything less than beautiful.
So don't you worry.
I'm your Angel standing by.
Jewel
Life as it is with a Near Drown Child
Seth Ryan Paschal
Near Drown 9/15/ 2002
For those of you reading this, I first want to explain to you what Near Drowning actually means…
Most people including us, that have a child who had a near drowning accident in the family had no idea what this meant before it happened to us!
I think the majority of us thought that either your child drowned or they survived and were fine….
Well, as the grandmother of a near drowning accident I can assure you there is an in-between that you never want to experience…
The Dr’s come to you and tell you the child will probably not make it, and if they do they will have severe brain damage and be in a coma or vegetative state the rest of their life…You stand there in shock as you hear these words, and you don’t hear anymore… Your heartbreaks, your tears start to fall, and then you realize you must think about making funeral arrangements, and everyday there is more bad news… Finally after weeks or months if you are one of the lucky ones the Dr’s say there is nothing more they can do….Take your child home, love him, and make him as comfortable as possible… No hope is given, no treatment recommended, there is nothing you can do…The brain is severely damaged and there is no time limit on the life he will live!
Seth Drowned that day, and was resusitated after about 30 minutes...
Your devastated, you feel so alone and you have no idea how to care for this child! Most near drowns happen between the age of 1 and 5 years old…Our Little man was 21 months old, walking and talking and had a personality full of smiles and a heart filled with love! At first your numb, your friends are there to support you, your family never leaves your side but you feel so alone.
But as time goes on and reality sets in, you realize your child that was so full of life is no longer there, you have this child now that has no reflexes, no swallow no gag, no blinking, just an empty shell of what once was a happy healthy child.
Your friends disappear in time, maybe they don’t know what to say to you, maybe they can’t bare to see your child this way, maybe they think to themselves “where were you while your child lay lifeless in the pool or spa or bathtub, what kind of parent could let this happen”, and they are thinking no more than you are thinking yourself… How could this happen, how could I have let this happen… This child is my life! You can’t function, you can’t care for your other children because you are so grief stricken, and the parent that was not there blames you and questions your parenting ability, and can’t bare to look at you at times without wanting to yell and scream at you ”How could you have let this happen” People hear your story and ask themselves “where were the parents”… We know this because before Seth's accident we ask the same question when we would hear of a child who drowned, we heard of near drowning but if you hear that you never hear anything else so you go on to think boy that family was lucky...
Our story started out on a beautiful September afternoon, my mother’s 70th birthday, my daughter Jill and her two children Autumn 8 and Seth 21 months at the time were at my home for the celebration… The kids wanted to go swimming so Jill put on Seth’s floatation device, and decided to go in the spa with him,they were in about half an hour and it was getting late, I ask Jill to get out of the spa and help me prepare for the party… Autumn and her friend were in the pool and Seth wanted to stay in the spa… So, trusting the floatation devices (floaties) as we always had before and knowing we would not be far from sight Jill let Seth stay in the spa… We had no fence around the pool so access was easy if there was a problem…Jill and I got busy decorating the back yard, and we both came into the house to get something, Jill decided to fold some clothes in the family room where you could see the pool… I was in and out of the house… While getting something from the house in seconds we heard Autumn yell for us and our hearts sank, we knew something was very wrong, you just knew from the terror in her voice.
When I reached the back yard, Seth had been pulled from the spa by Autumn and laid on the bricks next to the spa…He lay there colorless and lifeless… I yelled for Jill to call 911, which she did… The neighbors must have heard her screams as they came running! Neighbors we barely knew came to assist… The paramedics worked on Seth for about 30 minutes, finally he was stable enough to transfer to the local hospital and then airlifted to Los Angeles Children hospital! We had to stay behind to answer questions from the police about how this happened and in the process we became aware that somehow one of the floatation devices around Seth’s arm became deflated on one side which enabled him to remove the one and then remove the other and then must have decided to go back into the spa, us not knowing we thought Seth was just playing in the spa…He knew how to put his head underwater and hold his breath and never thinking he could get his floaties off we never noticed he had taken them off, it was just something we never thought could happen… From there it was an emotional roller coaster the Dr’s telling us not to put a trachea in and let Seth drown on his own secretions, that it would be best for him and us, although Seth never required life support his heart was beating, and when they removed the ventilator Seth was breathing on his own. Jill told them absolutely not!!! I am taking my son home if he survives so do what you have to do!… 31 days later we brought Seth home, and as I said, he had severe brain damage, and we had no hope!!! It was not until Seth was stable in the hospital that Jill came home for the night and, got on the computer and found other parents of near drowning victims… There she got information about treatments, and most important to us was the Hyperbaric Oxygen Treatment!
The parents were and are a God Send to us, and for whatever reason you need them someone is always there for you!!!
If you are reading Seth's story and your child has had a near drowning accident I hope you contact the PONDS group. There is a link under contacts!
We were lucky we got Seth into the hyperbaric chamber about 3 weeks after he was released from the hospital, Seth has had almost 120 Hyperbaric treatments, he has OT. PT. He sees an Osteopath and has a Dr. that does healing touch!
Seth has had serial casting done on his feet and is now in splints to keep his feet from falling … Seth feeds through a G tube, and has a trachea.
For the good news and our list of miracles, Seth now has all of his reflexes back, he responds to light, and sees shadows, his eyes follow us at times… He has smiled and tried to laugh…He breaths above his trachea and also makes sounds all the time above it! His legs bend on their own and they are very limber… His arms are still quite tight and usually pulled up toward his chest, this is called posturing and I think all of the children suffering from brain damage suffer from some sort of it…We can bring Seth’s arms down to his waist and recently he has been bringing them down on his own… It has been 15 mos. Since Seth’s accident and we are just beginning to learn how to care for him and keeping him healthy, with all the love, prayers and support each family gets from one another and friends and family we survive even the toughest times!
Since so many traditional Dr’s do not believe that our children can recover many of the therapies we choose to use are not covered by insurance, so we do fundraisers, Garage sales, and anything we can think of to get the funds to care for our children!
I would like to thank all those who pray for Seth and who have stood by us and loved us and not pasted judgment on us, and who have donated so generously!!!
And most of all I thank God for his miracles he has given Seth!
Also I would like to take the time to thank all the parents here who with all they must endure each day and how bad a day can be sometimes they are always here for one another, and only they know the real pain and suffering each other is going through! Our children were not born like this, and most of us had the chance to see the personalities of our children before the accident…
If our children were born like this maybe those who think this could never happen to them would not judge, and maybe talking about your our child that had a near drowning accident would be easier. If people realized this was an accident and anyone of these parents or grandparents would give their life for this never to have happened! But I also want those of you to know that are reading this and do not have a child who nearly drowned, that we love our children grandchildren and we will fight to give them back the best quality of life we can as long as we have too and no matter what it takes!
In the end as time passes all the friends and family go back to their lives, and you go into a whole new world, that few can understand! Some people say Seth would have been better off if we would have let him go... Well, we did not have that option! Seth was breathing on his own and his heart was beating, if we chose to let him die by starving him to death, or letting him choke on his own secretions, we might as well have held him under the water ourselves and not let them bring him back to us!!!
That was not God's will, and we love Seth just the way he is!!!
Remember also, a child can drown in seconds, so turning your back for that one second can change your life for forever… Fence your pool, because as much as we thought it would not have helped Seth we have to second guess whether we would have left him in the spa behind a fence and gate… Take the precautions…believe me you do not want to be a member of this group because you have to be!!!
If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.
